.Today would have been my late partner Nick's 40th birthday. In honour of him I decided that today's review is going to be one of his favourite movies - a movie that he introduced me to years ago. Since then I've gone on to introduce several other people to it and now I'm introducing it to all of you. It's one of those films that really has to be seen to be fully appreciated, but I'm going to do my best to review it anyway. So here we are with my review of Rockula.
Ralph is a 400-year-old vampire who still lives at home with his overprotective and more than a little eccentric mother (who is also a vampire). He's not very good at being a vampire either; he's barely able to turn into a vampire bat and even that is somewhat... lacking. Worst of all, he's also under a curse whereby every 22 years, his true love is reincarnated and he has to try to save her from being killed by a pirate with a rhinestone peg-leg, who wields a giant hambone. Obviously over the last 400 years he's not had too much success with that. Oh, and Ralph's reflection talks to him. And it's a musical.
As you might have guessed from the above synopsis, Rockula isn't a movie that's supposed to be taken too seriously. It's firmly in the category of horror-comedy, with an emphasis on the comedy rather than the horror. In fact, it's pretty much bloodless (yes, I know; it really stands out on the blog like that), which makes it the perfect horror for even the most ardent gore-hater to watch. So if you are looking for gore and splatter then this isn't the film to find it in; but don't let that discourage you from seeing the film - it's certainly cheesy as hell, but it's also a lot of fun.
One of the main reasons the film works so well is because of the cast. Dean Cameron, who was a prolific actor in 80s teen comedies (and who is still a prolific actor now, just not as a teenager any more) plays Ralph; Toni Basil, known as both an actress and a pop singer (she performed the 80s hit Mickey) plays his mother Phoebe; and then there's Thomas Dolby, who plays a mortuary owner with a line in new-age coffins. Really, Dolby very nearly steals the whole movie with his performance as Stanley - in particular a scene where he is marketing his coffins, which include a coffin on a rotisserie to keep your relatives turning in their graves, and a special line of cryogenic coffins with self-hypnosis tapes ("Are you a smoker? Quite while you're dead!").
The humour is also strong in the film as well - somewhat obvious even if you just look at the plot above. In some ways it's a bit like a Disney movie in terms of humour - most of it is pretty much family-friendly, but there's a few moments that will go straight over children's heads and adults will get the references - such as one character being called "Madame Ben-Wa" or Ralph's mother claiming that George Washington was "as wooden as his teeth" in the bedroom. And of course there's the whole double-entendre of the pirate "boning" Ralph's love to death every 22 years.
Rockula is pretty difficult to get hold of nowadays - it's available on Amazon Prime in the US but isn't available anywhere on DVD. Thankfully for us, some wonderful soul has uploaded the movie (in 9 parts) to YouTube, and you can find it here. Normally as you know I would never suggest any form of illegal downloading or watching of movies, but in this case, since Rockula is all but out of print, I'm pretty sure it's okay. I do thoroughly recommend watching this movie, not just because it was one of my partner's favourite films but because it's also genuinely funny and a lighthearted movie to watch if - like me - the films you usually watch are full of gore and creepiness and downbeat endings.
Oh, and the musical numbers are pretty good too. Particularly the one where he dresses up as Flava Flav.
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